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SEX ON THURSDAY | The Paradox of Reciprocal Head

In honor of September being “Pleasure Your Mate” month (and my inaugural article), I’d like to debate cunnilingus. I’ve been pondering for some time about what expectations exist for pleasuring your mate or companion or nevertheless else you describe who you’re having intercourse with. I name it the paradox of reciprocal head.

It’s one I’ve heard loads of instances earlier than: “I gained’t give head. However, clearly, I anticipate a man to go down on me.” Loads of ladies I do know, myself included, don’t actually need to give oral intercourse. After all, societally, the other downside is true: A 2016 survey of 900 faculty college students discovered that 60 p.c of ladies give oral intercourse and 52 p.c of males give oral intercourse. Whereas we will speak all day in regards to the pleasure and orgasm hole between (heterosexual) women and men, I need to deal with a reverse phenomenon. For no matter cause a lady doesn’t need to give a blowjob, is it an applicable subversion of the patriarchy to take however not give?

I need to begin this with a baseline of consent: No person ought to need to do something they don’t need to do with out affirmation and enthusiasm. Nor ought to anybody really feel guilted into giving head simply because they acquired it; there isn’t a sexual scorecard. I’m speaking right here about an energetic perception {that a} man ought to go down on you, whether or not you propose to return the favor or not.